Pamela, I just finished your book. It took me almost a year to read. I found it too hard to read because of the pain that I felt for you; your son, Dash; and also for your other two boys; and knowing that my situation is almost exactly the same. You may not remember but I contacted you via email and sent you my story along with some emails and pictures of my son. I have been alienated from my son for over a year now. You suggested I contact Reena Sommer, (which I did and we spoke on the phone) I found it helpful to speak to someone who has extensive knowledge of PAS. But I feel that nothing I do is working. My ex-husband has been telling me for months that my son does not want to live and talks about different ways that he can commit suicide and/or kill me. He just turned eleven. I went to visit him a week ago. His violence towards me is rising. He kicked me, punched me, hit me with his skateboard, pulled my hair, scratched my car up and wrote obscenities on it with a toy that I had given him for his birthday, broke my mirror... During my visit when I was trying to talk to my son (his father always speaking for him) I begged for his father to let me try to speak to my son alone. His father finally piped up "Tell her! Tell your mom how you want to die! Tell her how you want to kill yourself by stabbing yourself with a knife! Tell her how you want to jump out of the window to commit suicide!" Is he not planting a deadly seed?! I finally feel that I am at a point where I need to let go. Do I stop calling? Do I stop sending letters and gifts in the mail? Do I stop attempting to visit him? A very good friend told me that when my son sees me coming he sees a monster. I think he's right. My ex-husband has brainwashed my son into believing that not only I, but his sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles are all monsters. There doesn't seem to be anything that any of us can do to change his mind. What is it going to take for my son to prove his loyalty to his father? I am currently trying with my legal aid lawyer to facilitate visits with my son in the absence of his father and in a safe environment I know this could take months. I've decided not to try to visit him again until this gets sorted out. I will continue to write letters and send small gifts. It's the only thing I can think of to do right now.
Thank you for your support. I am so sorry for all that you have been through and I admire your courage and your strength.
Tracy
Monday, June 4, 2007
Raising Awareness of PAS - Post from the old Forum (12 May 2007)
I just hope that this will raise awareness to the millions of fit, loving parents who want nothing more than to be in their kids lives and have to fight the bitterness and resentment of their ex, and prevent their child from being used and abused in a tug of war battle.
Pamela, I was wondering how you are promoting the book and what the plans are for the Dash foundation?
Pamela, I was wondering how you are promoting the book and what the plans are for the Dash foundation?
Thanks - Post from the old Forum (9 May 2007)
Thank you for sharing your story. I can hardly read it without crying. I too have been shunned by the legal system and have had two therapist turned against me by my vindictive ex-husband. This last therapist was my last hope to help prove my case with the legal system. This morning, I feel as if I am grieving the death of my child even though she is still alive. It is a horribly painful process of letting go and just letting them know that you will be there when things come into perspective for them. They are innocent victims of this brainwashing and when they go against the parent trying to protect them, what can you do. No one believes you, and our innocent children are left to suffer the painful effects of the PAS. Who will protect our children if we do not have the system to stand behind us. I just think it is a tragedy and the worst form of abuse that parents and children can endure. Thank you for letting me vent.
Thank you for sharing your story - Post from the old Forum (6 May 2007)
Pamela,
Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story. I had been searching for information on father's rights when I first learned of Parental Alienation Syndrome and then found your book. I read this book non-stop for 2 days. PAS is a horrible, horrible thing and I want to Thank for helping to increase awareness and make a difference. I too would like to see Oprah take on this story and expose PAS for the child abuse that it is, to the level that courts respond and take action! I admire your strength and courage. You are an incredibly wonderful and loving mother.
Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story. I had been searching for information on father's rights when I first learned of Parental Alienation Syndrome and then found your book. I read this book non-stop for 2 days. PAS is a horrible, horrible thing and I want to Thank for helping to increase awareness and make a difference. I too would like to see Oprah take on this story and expose PAS for the child abuse that it is, to the level that courts respond and take action! I admire your strength and courage. You are an incredibly wonderful and loving mother.
Hi Mrs Richardson - Post from the old Forum (11 Nov 2006)
I have just finished your book... My eyes are red and swollen, I found our about your book appoximately a week ago, however I am in school and needed to get some studying done and assignments done before I could go and find it.(knowing I would not be able to put it down.) I bought it thursday and grabbed it off the shelf when I saw it like how children grab their favourite blanky or toy when they are toddlers. I came home, made dinner for my youngest and her friend and before cleaning up dishes, sat down to read it! I got through 1/3 of it in an hour and couldn't breathe however I had to put it away and take a break, get my youngest bathed homework etc. I felt like I was you however dramatically different the differences between us are. I could of wrote so much of the same story and mostly the little stories you told of your son. I had my husband take the book with him to work in the morning so I could be productive around the house, you see I thought about your son all night, I tossed I turned I prayed and I cried, just as I am doing now. I have three children, two with my first husband and a daughter with my husband now.
I wrote oprah and asked her producers to read your book as I was trying to find my way to your email, or a way to you. Anyways I finished the book today, its saturday and I can't breathe. I am so sorry for you and your family and I need you to know, I understand and I am trying everyday to keep going, keep smiling, grieve when I have to and pray for my two children who I have not seen since the begginning of this year, no phone calls returned, just gone from our lives. I too have a wonderful husband his nickname is Dobber and thats what my children called him when they lived with us. They have no contact with him, our daughter, me, our family, the last conversation I had with my oldest daughter she said she didn't appreciate the way Rob (his name they never call him) said Hi to her at school. Anyways I am not sure what I am trying to say except I am so happy to have found this site and found you, It was after I looked around the authors sites and Dr. Sommers. I am not sure what to do anymore as in whats best for my babies. Your book however is my story in so many ways, and your epilogue is how I am trying to live each day.I know I barely make it, so I admire you for telling your story and giving permission for me to try and make a life for my family as best I can. I again am so very sorry for all you've dealt with.thank you for writing this Book.
God Bless
Sincerely
a mom of 3
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Book Review - Winnipeg Free Press, Sunday, May 28th, 2006
A book review from the Winnipeg Free Press, Sunday, May 28th, 2006.
Tragic tale of son's suicide brutally honest
Sunday, May 28th, 2006
A Kidnapped Mind
A Mother's Heartbreaking Story
of Parental Alienation Syndrome
By Pamela Richardson, introduction by Reena Sommer
Dundurn, 280 pages, $25
Reviewed by Brenlee Carrington
THIS true story is excruciatingly painful to read.
With rare courage and brutal honesty, former Vancouver broadcaster Pamela Richardson tells the tragic tale of her son's suicide.
In 2001, 16-year-old Dash Hart killed himself by jumping off a Vancouver bridge. The emotional destruction that led to his death forms the basis of this gut-wrenching memoir.
Richardson's ex-husband and Dash's father was criminal lawyer Peter Hart, who died in 2004. Since 1990, Richardson has been married to Vancouver businessman David Richardson, a former Winnipegger and the father of her two teenage sons.
Richardson's first child, Dash, was diagnosed as suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome, or PAS, when he was 11.
Former Winnipegger Dr. Reena Sommer, a respected divorce and custody consultant, writes in the book's excellent foreword that PAS occurs when a child is "wrongfully robbed of his right to love and be loved by both of his parents."
Sommer, now based out of Galveston, Tex., explains that as in the case of Dash, one parent (Dash's father) "placed his own selfish need to punish his ex-spouse ahead of the needs of his dependent child."
The late U.S. child psychiatrist Dr. Richard Gardner is credited with having coined the phrase in the early 1980s. Like many other child custody issues, PAS is not without controversy.
The book's title, A Kidnapped Mind, comes from the impact of PAS on children. Sommer writes that Hart's unrelenting attempts to alienate Dash from his mother created "an environment in which Dash was held psychologically hostage for nearly 11 years of his 16-year life."
This book's publication is timely. Earlier this month, the Ontario Court of Appeal awarded sole custody to a father because the mother exhibited a "persistent, ingrained, and deep-rooted inability to support the children's relationship with the father."
Richardson writes with cathartic candour. Her palpable pain and frustration reach out to readers.
Life deteriorated for the fractured family when a psychologist's report recommended interim joint custody. It stated that if a decision had to be made, then Hart should be the custodial parent because "Dash was slightly more psychologically attached to Dad than to Mom."
Subsequent hearings resulted in Hart's being awarded permanent sole custody because the same psychologist determined that although both were "very good parents," Pamela Richardson is a "good parent; Mr. Hart is an excellent parent."
Richardson recalls: "What I felt as I held the custody order in my hands was fear, mixed with great loss. My ability to parent Dash -- or, I panicked, be a part of his life at all -- had fallen completely to the mercy of the only man in the world who wanted to push me off a bridge."
Hart, writes Richardson, repeatedly thwarted her attempts to spend time with her son. He also undermined her relationship with Dash at every turn.
The result was Dash's devastating downward descent. This included numerous behavioural problems and failing to attend school. He also sold drugs. He was picked up by police on one occasion toward the end of his life.
A Kidnapped Mind takes readers on a real life emotional roller-coaster ride. Its message is that whenever possible, former partners and the justice system should work together to ensure that children maintain strong and positive relationships with both parents.
Brenlee Carrington, a Winnipeg lawyer and journalist, is the Law Society of Manitoba's equity ombudswoman.
© 2006 Winnipeg Free Press. All Rights Reserved.
Tragic tale of son's suicide brutally honest
Sunday, May 28th, 2006
A Kidnapped Mind
A Mother's Heartbreaking Story
of Parental Alienation Syndrome
By Pamela Richardson, introduction by Reena Sommer
Dundurn, 280 pages, $25
Reviewed by Brenlee Carrington
THIS true story is excruciatingly painful to read.
With rare courage and brutal honesty, former Vancouver broadcaster Pamela Richardson tells the tragic tale of her son's suicide.
In 2001, 16-year-old Dash Hart killed himself by jumping off a Vancouver bridge. The emotional destruction that led to his death forms the basis of this gut-wrenching memoir.
Richardson's ex-husband and Dash's father was criminal lawyer Peter Hart, who died in 2004. Since 1990, Richardson has been married to Vancouver businessman David Richardson, a former Winnipegger and the father of her two teenage sons.
Richardson's first child, Dash, was diagnosed as suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome, or PAS, when he was 11.
Former Winnipegger Dr. Reena Sommer, a respected divorce and custody consultant, writes in the book's excellent foreword that PAS occurs when a child is "wrongfully robbed of his right to love and be loved by both of his parents."
Sommer, now based out of Galveston, Tex., explains that as in the case of Dash, one parent (Dash's father) "placed his own selfish need to punish his ex-spouse ahead of the needs of his dependent child."
The late U.S. child psychiatrist Dr. Richard Gardner is credited with having coined the phrase in the early 1980s. Like many other child custody issues, PAS is not without controversy.
The book's title, A Kidnapped Mind, comes from the impact of PAS on children. Sommer writes that Hart's unrelenting attempts to alienate Dash from his mother created "an environment in which Dash was held psychologically hostage for nearly 11 years of his 16-year life."
This book's publication is timely. Earlier this month, the Ontario Court of Appeal awarded sole custody to a father because the mother exhibited a "persistent, ingrained, and deep-rooted inability to support the children's relationship with the father."
Richardson writes with cathartic candour. Her palpable pain and frustration reach out to readers.
Life deteriorated for the fractured family when a psychologist's report recommended interim joint custody. It stated that if a decision had to be made, then Hart should be the custodial parent because "Dash was slightly more psychologically attached to Dad than to Mom."
Subsequent hearings resulted in Hart's being awarded permanent sole custody because the same psychologist determined that although both were "very good parents," Pamela Richardson is a "good parent; Mr. Hart is an excellent parent."
Richardson recalls: "What I felt as I held the custody order in my hands was fear, mixed with great loss. My ability to parent Dash -- or, I panicked, be a part of his life at all -- had fallen completely to the mercy of the only man in the world who wanted to push me off a bridge."
Hart, writes Richardson, repeatedly thwarted her attempts to spend time with her son. He also undermined her relationship with Dash at every turn.
The result was Dash's devastating downward descent. This included numerous behavioural problems and failing to attend school. He also sold drugs. He was picked up by police on one occasion toward the end of his life.
A Kidnapped Mind takes readers on a real life emotional roller-coaster ride. Its message is that whenever possible, former partners and the justice system should work together to ensure that children maintain strong and positive relationships with both parents.
Brenlee Carrington, a Winnipeg lawyer and journalist, is the Law Society of Manitoba's equity ombudswoman.
© 2006 Winnipeg Free Press. All Rights Reserved.
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