Letter from Dennis

I feel for what you went through. What I find sickening is how those in the legal system involved with your son, the Judges, the lawyers and psychologists how they can sleep at night with what happened. There was a case in early 2009 where the court overturned a decision to give custody to the father after the mother tried for 10 yrs to alienate her children from the father....it only took 10 years and the emotional abuse will last a life time.......they poor children are scarred for life....how can your ex husband look at himself in the mirror and not realize he lost the most precious thing a parent can have in life and that is a happy child! I don't get it....I just don't get it.....

Dennis

Letter from Janie

I am just in the middle of your book right now. I am doing a report/essay on PAS for my college English class and I came across your book. I am so sorry for your loss. It is a great book, well written, and I can relate fully.

My husbands ex-wife has alienated his 2 children form him for the past 7 years now. We went to trial and like yours, we had a psychologist that was not for us, guardian ad litem that was friends with the ex's lawyer, and a judge that just wanted it off his docket. Our expert psychologist told the judge he must get the kids out of her care ASAP. The judge seemed to like the PAS expert and said he believed he was accurate, however, 2 months later when he gave his final order, he gave full custody to the mom?

We found out her uncle was a retired bailiff in the same court and she conveniently married a police officer in the same jurisdiction. (they are no longer together, she ripped him off blindly - another story). The kids are now 17 and 18 and they live with their mom who now has put them both in jail this year at different times, claiming they beat her. Child Protective Services were called and the kids said the mom abuses them, but, they don't belive the kids. The school knows, they can't do anything. We know this because we just started hearing from his daughter after 5 years via email.

However, suddenly the emails have stopped, and we think mom may have found out. She is now not responding to any of ours. They are so afraid of their mother, it's pathetic. Now I have a friend in Florida who is going thru this. Her son is now 14 and her daughter is 8. When she went over on Thanksgiving to visit, unannounced, since no one ever returned her calls, she brought all of her kids cousins, grandparents, etc, and they asked the children to come outside so they can see them.

My friend said her son (the 14 yr. old) was so frightened, he kept looking back at the house, afraid that someone was going to come out, or just afraid of what may be said to him when he went back in. Her daughter is now becoming non-responsive to her when she shows up at the soccer games.

She never heard of PAS and I am trying to help her as much as I can. Needless to say she is devastated, and fears for her children's lives. She said she has never seen her children look this way. She doesn't have much money to fight this and just is at a loss. Her lawyer doesn't know much about PAS either, just what I am feeding her.

I am going to do all I can to help her, I will do research or whatever it takes. I will not stand back and see more children go thru this. Your case sounds just like ours went. Unfortunately your son is not alive, and my heart goes out to you and your family. I commend you for all your efforts and may God Bless you. If you know of anyone who can help, please let us know. Thank you.

Janie

Hello,
I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has bravely sent in such painful and heartfelt letters. It is never easy to write about the emotional abuse of your children.

As you know I am a parent who has lived with PAS and not a professional. It is this reason and the pain of having to relive my own grief that cautions me from contacting all of you.

Through my website you can find resources that will hopefully be of some help. If anyone has any updated information whether it be research, articles, books or personal experience please write to me. Your voice is heard.

I have been asked to be a guest speaker at The Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome in Toronto. The dates are March 27th through to 29th, 2009. My book, A Kidnapped Mind will be available at the conference as a gift from The Dash Foundation.

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart,
Pamela

What now? - Post from the old Forum (25 May 2007)

Pamela, I just finished your book. It took me almost a year to read. I found it too hard to read because of the pain that I felt for you; your son, Dash; and also for your other two boys; and knowing that my situation is almost exactly the same. You may not remember but I contacted you via email and sent you my story along with some emails and pictures of my son. I have been alienated from my son for over a year now. You suggested I contact Reena Sommer, (which I did and we spoke on the phone) I found it helpful to speak to someone who has extensive knowledge of PAS. But I feel that nothing I do is working. My ex-husband has been telling me for months that my son does not want to live and talks about different ways that he can commit suicide and/or kill me. He just turned eleven. I went to visit him a week ago. His violence towards me is rising. He kicked me, punched me, hit me with his skateboard, pulled my hair, scratched my car up and wrote obscenities on it with a toy that I had given him for his birthday, broke my mirror... During my visit when I was trying to talk to my son (his father always speaking for him) I begged for his father to let me try to speak to my son alone. His father finally piped up "Tell her! Tell your mom how you want to die! Tell her how you want to kill yourself by stabbing yourself with a knife! Tell her how you want to jump out of the window to commit suicide!" Is he not planting a deadly seed?! I finally feel that I am at a point where I need to let go. Do I stop calling? Do I stop sending letters and gifts in the mail? Do I stop attempting to visit him? A very good friend told me that when my son sees me coming he sees a monster. I think he's right. My ex-husband has brainwashed my son into believing that not only I, but his sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles are all monsters. There doesn't seem to be anything that any of us can do to change his mind. What is it going to take for my son to prove his loyalty to his father? I am currently trying with my legal aid lawyer to facilitate visits with my son in the absence of his father and in a safe environment I know this could take months. I've decided not to try to visit him again until this gets sorted out. I will continue to write letters and send small gifts. It's the only thing I can think of to do right now.

Thank you for your support. I am so sorry for all that you have been through and I admire your courage and your strength.
Tracy

Raising Awareness of PAS - Post from the old Forum (12 May 2007)

I just hope that this will raise awareness to the millions of fit, loving parents who want nothing more than to be in their kids lives and have to fight the bitterness and resentment of their ex, and prevent their child from being used and abused in a tug of war battle.

Pamela, I was wondering how you are promoting the book and what the plans are for the Dash foundation?

Thanks - Post from the old Forum (9 May 2007)

Thank you for sharing your story. I can hardly read it without crying. I too have been shunned by the legal system and have had two therapist turned against me by my vindictive ex-husband. This last therapist was my last hope to help prove my case with the legal system. This morning, I feel as if I am grieving the death of my child even though she is still alive. It is a horribly painful process of letting go and just letting them know that you will be there when things come into perspective for them. They are innocent victims of this brainwashing and when they go against the parent trying to protect them, what can you do. No one believes you, and our innocent children are left to suffer the painful effects of the PAS. Who will protect our children if we do not have the system to stand behind us. I just think it is a tragedy and the worst form of abuse that parents and children can endure. Thank you for letting me vent.